Longest days

Some mornings are extremely difficult. Since we have been apart for a few years the lack of his presence in the bed is actually a part of my normal life..but after I wake up, there is that need to reach out, wish him a good morning and loads of love and share sweet kisses...I stare at  his pictures everyday and there is not a single day I don't struggle to  cope with reality, with the fact that he is really gone....I try my best to not  let thoughts about him enter my head when I see other couples, but the more I miss him the more difficult it gets. Is that why I stay away from a few friends..and people in general....is that why I like to be with younger kids...I wonder..maybe I am turning into a sort of recluse..maybe..maybe not...but these have been and will be the longest days in my life....The longest I have waited for a word from you, a hug from you ..the longest time since I have laughed with my soul..the longest time since you visited me even in a dream..the longest since I saw that dimpled mischievous smile flash across your face...the longest moments of desperation and distress...how long...how long ....how much more longer before I see you once again...these are definitely the never ending days of my life....devoid of hope and sincere joy..devoid of true love and passion..devoid of you..my soul...