To be or Not to be

Sometimes I care ..sometimes I dont...

Sometimes I am numb and sometimes I hurt  so much that it seems surreal that my heart is still beating and I am still alive..

Sometimes I smile and no matter how much I try, not a single tear can be squeezed out of these mule headed tear glands of mine ..sometimes I cry so much that I have to change clothes...

Sometimes I wonder...is he really gone? How can it be? It cant be?...sometimes I accept the fact that he is no longer here with a practicality I never thought I had in me...

Sometimes I feel determined and positive about moving forward ..sometimes I feel "What is the point..without him.."