Life and love for me

Life for me today, is about...
Letting go when i don't want to..
Holding on when i shouldn't...
Yearning for things i must not..
Having things I really don't want....

Often in my prayers I feel like a child who understands that her parent has reasons for what he has done but still can't stop herself from wanting all that which has been taken away from her...for ten years I struggled to just standby him...I pined and whined for time...first five years was spent in trying to convince everyone dear that he is the one..the next five years went in waiting for him at home in the hopes that he will get leave...I would have spent barely 2 years with my husband in all of these ten years..but you have no clue how much love we shared in this time and how much I still love him....I miss him..my husband..this bug guy who stole my heart away with a flash of his dimpled smile..his quirky mannerisms..his humor and his sincerity...his honesty and his love...he stole my heart away and today has marched into a wold unknown to me..I guess he can keep that bit of me with him..my heart and soul and all...he can keep it...I hope he does for eternity...